Hatred is insidious. We must nip it in the bud by supporting each other. Take a stand now

O, what a sorry world we’ve made it! Human beings are the most stupid and ungrateful of all the sentient species! As a collective humanity, we’ve suffered through ravages, through wars and now, a pandemic and yet, we continue to indulge in hatred, intolerance and a skewed balance of power

THIS TOO SHALL PASS
By Punam Bakshi Mohandas

I happened to read some news on Nazanin Zaghai Ratcliffe, the Iranian-British woman who was recently released by the Iranian government. During a press conference, she commented on how it took five Foreign Secretaries to secure her release after six long years of imprisonment and that it shouldn’t have taken so long. Pat came the backlash on social media, with people calling her “ungrateful” and the hashtag #send her back.

Intolerance, hatred, harshness, unkindness, racism. It’s not confined to any particular country. We think this is the practice of now, the younger generation. Nope. Hatred percolates down from the elders.

If anything, the youth are divided between those who are more aware and discerning of such toxicity, versus those who are willing to be led by rhetoric, part of a herd mentality.

I was at this café that adjoins a bookshop, one of my favourite places to hang out, because the food is quite good and also, I can rest my weary feet while diving into a book purchase right away. I go there so often that one of the waitresses now carols out my order merrily just on seeing me! So, there I was, happily chomping away and now on page five of the new book, when I became aware of someone sitting behind me, who’d been talking really loudly to someone on his phone in Thai, on speaker mode. I tutted once or twice and turned to look at him glancingly, to no avail. After a couple more pages when I was really getting disturbed, I turned to glare at him and he just sprang up threateningly from his chair and shouted, “What?! What you say”?

“Nothing”, I answered, perplexed.

“You get disturbed, because I talk”? he goes.

“Well, sure”, I reply.

“You’re on speaker phone, you’re really loud and I’m trying to read here”.

“Reading not allow here”, he spits. “You Indian? Pakistani”?

“How does that matter”? I say, completely taken aback.

“Are you Chinese”? I ask.

This infuriated the guy even more and he literally started dancing on his feet in anger: “No, I not Chinese! You go back home! Go back home! Go take bath”!

“What”?! I just laughed out loud in his face and turned back to my book.

Inwardly, I was trembling. I have never faced such blatant rudeness and racism, in all my years in Thailand. There was pin-drop silence in the café and everybody was staring in shock at the two of us as the old man ranted and raved – but nobody said anything, even when he finally sat down but continued to speak in Thai into the phone to some woman, and mentioned Indian/Pakistani a couple of times, cackling disparagingly, so I would get the message loud and clear.

That’s right – old man! He was between 66-70 years of age! And Thailand has never been colonized. So just think – where this pent-up hatred and racism is stemming from and how such an elderly man would have impacted and influenced dozens of people around him. This is why I say hatred percolates down from the older generation.

My friend Sahar, who’s Pakistani, told me she was almost refused a house rental by a much older Thai couple, simply on account of her nationality.

Wait, my story at the café isn’t over yet. Still in some shock, embarrassment and humiliation at this public scene, I got up to pay the bill and, while waiting for my change, a young Thai woman, between 29-33 years, sitting behind Rabid Man, smiled at me. I smiled back spontaneously.

“Are you all right”? she asked, in a very American accent. “I heard and saw everything. Are you all right”?

“Thank you so much for asking”, I stuttered.

“We are not like this, Thai people are not like this”, she said emphatically.

“I know, I’ve lived here ten years”, I replied. “In my view, such people”- I indicated towards Rabid Man – “need more love in their lives. They’re filled with hatred”. At this, an older (Thai) couple sitting behind the young woman, turned to look at me and the gentleman smiled at me approvingly and did a ‘thumbs up’ gesture. I was almost in tears at this show of support, which is quite a bold step for Thais, who notoriously shy away from confrontation.

“Please don’t stop coming here”, urged Young Woman.

“It’s not about whether I’m Indian or Pakistani or American”, I said loudly, at which the Old Gentleman raised a warning hand, shushing me, indicating Rabid Man would hear.

“I’m deliberately speaking loudly, I want him to hear”, I assured Old Gentleman.

“So, it’s not about where I come from. What should matter is that I have the money to pay for what I ordered at this café. And look, now HE’s reading a book – after telling me reading is not ‘allowed’ here”! I laughed in disbelief.

I wai-ed and thanked these people and made to leave the café. As I was doing so, the waitress came up to me. “Please come back naka”, she said anxiously.

“I will, don’t worry”, I smiled at her.

Does the kindness and support of these random strangers cancel out the sheer abrasiveness and hostility from the other random stranger? This question kept gnawing at me. I’m afraid I still don’t have the answer. Part of me is heartened to see that good people still exist. But what’s bothering me more – and cancelling out the goodness – is the anger and hatred. This is one step away from violence, isn’t it?

Instead of people being thankful for the riches or privileges they have, they let the power go to their heads. This was an incident in a café. Amplify this hundred-fold…isn’t this what’s happening with Russia and Ukraine? Isn’t it what happened in Canada recently, when truckers against the vaccination regulation blocked a street and therefore access to almost five hospitals? What’s happening with intolerance in many countries? I’ll wager most of the Brits sending aid parcels to Ukraine and feeling pious about it, don’t speak or think so kindly about people of colour in the UK!

Hatred is insidious. We must nip it in the bud by speaking up against injustice, by supporting and uplifting each other. Take a stand now. Nobody ever lost anything or had his ego resized by being kind, by standing up for what’s right. On the other hand, there’s a lot to lose by anger.

You know what? I wish now I’d thought of paying for Rabid Man’s coffee. Perhaps that small act of kindness may have deterred him from being rude to another person of colour, another time.

[The main/featured picture from Pixabay has been used for illustrative purposes only]

Punam Bakshi Mohandas is a journalist and writer with 25-plus years of work experience across India, Dubai and Thailand. A nomad at heart, having travelled over 43-countries at last count, Punam is also a film critic. She was a weekly columnist for the Hindustan Times (New Delhi edition), Delhi Midday, The Financial Express, The Statesman and the Times of India (Kolkata edition). She is also the author of the book, ‘Fallen Angels. The views are her own and The News Porter bears no responsibility for the same.