Life has become so busy for many of us that things that truly matter to us is put on the back burner. In the daily grind of our lives, we are constantly trying to fulfil external expectations
By Anupama Jha
Many of us do not live our lives fully. We don’t do things that really matter to us, make us happy. Walking bare-foot on the sand on the beach; sipping tea on the wooden bench in the dilapidated dhaba under the banyan tree; meeting old friends in your hometown or learning a musical instrument…it could be anything. Anything that brings us great joy and peace of mind.
Life has become so busy for many of us that things that truly matter to us is put on the back burner. In the daily grind of our lives, we are constantly trying to fulfil external expectations – either that of our family, or social or our own. So much so that even while we are out on a vacation, instead of sitting on a back porch, enjoying family time, we are constantly busy – visiting tourist places, attending an event or checking our cell phones.
In the modern world, we have a tendency to fill our lives with the non-essentials. Modern culture teaches us that the good life is found in accumulating things—in possessing as much as possible. So, we work hard to accumulate things that we don’t really need, and start focussing on things that don’t really matter.
So many times, we also find that if we try to do something off-beat or ‘different’, people start questioning or doubting us. Say for instance, if you quit your job to follow your passion project, or drive around the country, or leave your highly paid job to become a yoga teacher in Rishikesh, you hear a lot of comments, side-remarks or doubt filled questions. As a result, we tend to trash our own dreams and start living the lives chosen by other people. What is even worse is when people around you doubt you when you want to follow a life that is away from the norm, you subconsciously start believing them and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you start believing something about yourself that others have told you, that influences what you do, and consequently your results.
So, how to find courage to live your life fully?
First, try to find positive examples around you. Try to find a few people with a similar background, skills, resources who have not walked the beaten path, and succeeded.
Secondly, do not let other people’s words define you. You must create your own reality. You alone can define yourself and what you are capable of.
And finally, allow supporting people into your life. People who cheer you, support you and make you believe that you can do everything that you want to do.
It is important for each one of us to look within and figure out what is that one thing that we really want to do and what is it that is holding us back.
Life is not short. But we waste so much time on doing things that don’t matter – such as, wondering what will others think, getting caught up in gossip and wasting our time on the non-essentials, that we forget to live our life.
Time and again we must remind ourselves about the meaning of our existence by asking tough questions such as – who am I, why am I here, am I on my own path or someone else’s?
These are uncomfortable questions but they are important. We avoid asking these questions and try to hide behind our daily routine, busy life, work and non-stop demand of the modern-day existence. But within these questions lie powerful answers. They allow us to get honest with ourselves. These questions allow us to gain mental clarity around things that matter and discard those that don’t.
It is important to dive within, explore and declare the dream and life of our choice. This requires courage. Sometimes we don’t do it for fear of embarrassment, failure or standing out too much. But if you are able to find the courage to live your life on your own terms, you will live a life of great satisfaction.
At the end of the day (or should I say, end of the life), the pain of regret hurts more than putting ourselves out there.
[Main/Featured picture by Mehre Alam has been used for illustrative purposes only]
Anupama Jha is a Spiritual Coach, Writer and a Mentor. She blends modern therapeutic techniques and ancient Indian knowledge for empowering mankind.
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